Close Your Eyes

Close Your Eyes | Michael Bublé

When your love pours down on me
I know I’m finally free
So I tell you gratefully
Every single beat in my heart is yours to keep

I love our relationship. I love our partnership. Honesty? Communication? Trust? Playfulness? Seriousness? Etcetera..

We have it all.

It literally is the best and strongest relationship I have ever had with anyone. I am not afraid to let myself be myself. I don’t have to be this perception of someone that I think you would like. I am not afraid to hide my feelings. I am not afraid of offending you. I am not afraid of losing you. I am not afraid of whether or not our relationship is going to make it. Because it’s like I just know. The best part: I don’t feel insecure. Not even a little bit. Which is strange because I feel like I should, especially with you because of the way we started out. But I don’t. I don’t question anything with us.

And it’s as if I’ve been doing it wrong with my previous relationships. Well maybe not wrong, but the previous relationships could have been better. I was always afraid, naive; I lost myself in them, and just insecure about everything.

But with you, well I wouldn’t have known this feeling, I wouldn’t have known this type of relationship, this type of investment..

I would never have felt this type of…

Assurance.

sometimes I miss you so much that it hurts
it aches that my hand is without yours
and that I don’t know when I will see you next,
five hours doesn’t seem that far away
but it has been thirty one days since I last knew what your voice sounded like clearly, in person, not over some computer or phone,
and it’s summer now and all my friends stopped being my friends quite a while ago
and you’re the closest person I have, but you’re so far away

and I try to write about you, because it’s better than not writing about you,
but my words all sound the same,
“I miss you, I miss you, I miss you”

and I could write that the the highways that stretch between us don’t even compare to the way I feel about you,
and I could write that everytime I hear the mention of your state, I light up, because a piece of home is there,
and I could write that you make me passionate about things,
that you make me better,
that you lift me up,
that you are my favorite purple crayon,
that you see me, and really see me,
that you somehow can reach three hundred and eleven miles and touch my heart in a way that no one within this fifty mile radius can
that you simply are the first someone I have ever pictured a future with
that you make me believe in words like “beautiful” and “wonderful”
that you make me feel alive

but none of those words will get you here any closer,
but I write them anyways

what I think of when I can’t fall asleep at night (via amandaspoetry)

(via kentomondo)

This is my Apu Jesus’s & Apu Luding’s and family legacy.

11 children, 30 grandchildren, 24 and counting great-grandchildren.

With 2 deceased grandchildren, Jon and Chris.

Although we might have lost the glue that holds us together, our grandmother.

We will always be family.

Dear God, thanks for letting my family borrow an angel. It is time we return her back to you. (at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery)

This is my niece Naya. I love her so much. If I could, I’d steal her away from her mother and father and take her home with me. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her over the course of the past few weeks and for some reason people just hand her over to me. My favorite part of today though that really melt my heart was after I was done feeding her in this picture my sister took her for awhile. Then Naya began to get sleepy. So my sister tried to put her to sleep but for some reason she couldn’t. Then my sister handed her over to me and Naya just laid her head on my shoulder as if second nature and knocked out. It was so heartfelt. And she stayed asleep for quite some time too. She just laying in my arms so peacefully, feeling her warmth, her breath, her heart beat. 

I know I’m only “playing mom”, feeding her, putting her to sleep, making her laugh and keeping her happy. But, of course though at the end of the day she isn’t mines. 

I seriously cannot wait to have kids and be a mom.

I know I’m going to love the hell out of my kids.